Last night, in my session, we talked a lot about MP. She thinks I am trying to be the “rescuer” with him, essentially saving him from myself. Actually I don’t want to discuss this. Not today.
I continually battle with myself about wanting to do things. Whether it be reaching out to others, staying in a relationship, leaving my house, or even attending a hockey game with work. Some I win and others I lose, those are the days when I give in to myself and the solitude I so hugely crave…even though it feeds my loneliness.
Still haven’t told my work that I have to leave once a week early. I just don’t know what to say or reveal. However, I supposedly have the time off of work to go on my trip. *sigh* How will I find the energy to plan the main parts of it?
I’m tired today and wish I didn’t have to go to the hockey game tonight, the last thing I want to do right now is try and converse with people I don’t know.
Apparently I’m on the right path and am doing a lot of good things. I disagree, I fail myself constantly and I have no patience for this. I am frustrated.
Once this starts to get better my dreams are supposed to cede from my sleeping state. Time will tell.
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