I just cannot be bothered today. I do not feel like being social and going out this evening yet I made plans a couple weeks ago. What do I do; give in to despair and stay home, or make an effort to fight it off and go out?
Having a glass of wine and holding up my end of the conversation seems like a draining evening. WTF is wrong with me?
I am having the most difficult time shaking these feelings of misery, anguish, failure, dejection, loneliness, misunderstood, anger, distance, detachment. I can honestly say I just do not care. I don’t.
Tired, but can’t sleep. Lonely, yet push people away. Failure, of most relationships/friendships. Misery, feel as though I have let others down. Detachment, know I am not paying attention to others when I should but I have no energy to try. Misunderstood…for all of it.
I want time off of work to heal but would I actually get out of bed? Yes, probably; but I doubt I would find the ambition to leave my house.
Got pissed off at the time last night because it was only 7:30 and not late enough for sleep. Skipped school as I had no desire to be around other people. Cannot say I care about missing a class, I only wish I did not have to go next week.
I am the creator of my own gloom. Wish I had someone neutral to turn to for advice.
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