What to do This Long Weekend?

I guess what we’ll see what changes take place in the next few weeks, one day, one med at a time. Ack, I feel as though I’ve failed myself.

Received an invitation to go to Invermere for Sunday and Monday. A part of me really, really wants to accept, pack up and take off. However, what if I cannot be happy the whole time? I do not want to be the sad girl, the one who is going through a rough time. It will not be the same as it was before, I cannot drink this time. Maybe I should say no; for them and for me.

Valentine’s Day is in a couple days. It does not directly remind me of FG or anything (except for the pink book and the letter) but it is not a day worth celebrating. Thank you for creating it Hallmark, reminding people of their loneliness and troubles is really a day for celebration. You cold, thoughtless bastards.
Shit, I am cynical today.

I cried first thing in the morning. Maybe that gives me a pass to be cynical all I want for the day. Probably not, but I’m using it.

What to do this weekend? What to do? Tonight…staying in, watching movies. Tomorrow…I have nothing booked. How shall I find the motivation to leave my house if I have nothing to do? I probably won’t. Sunday, Monday maybe I will go. I wish I could truly look forward to going away with friends, just like I used to a few months ago. The emptiness still resides in me (if you have emptiness inside of you, are you truly empty?), it has replaced my motivation and happiness.