Cologne

Today is one of those days when I feel like nothing happened. I never saw him again, I was never in that relationship. Which is especially odd because last night I went Christmas shopping and I had a few “triggers” to set off my anxiety:
1) Large crowds
2) Saw his type of cologne
3) Ran into a friend of his

I’ll admit that when I saw the bottle for his cologne I quickly backed away, it’s almost like the bottle was him. The reminders which came from just seeing it was incredible. Not all bad, just moments. Like when we lived together and it would be on the counter in the bathroom. Then being in the bathroom getting ready to go out and he’d yell at me. Damn, I’m thinking about it again…

I slept like crap last night, couldn’t stop thinking about it and remembering. Maybe I’m not feeling it today because of exhaustion?? Huh, tiredness = relaxation?

I’m sure we’ll explore this tonight in, ugh I hate admitting this, therapy. *shudder*