Ay Dios Mio

Last night was difficult, I spent the majority of it in the fetal position on the couch. I have lost most of my appetite. I usually eat to keep up the front and fit in, and to avoid getting sick. I do enjoy comfort food, though that is losing its appeal as well.

Keeping my eyes open seems like a feat in itself; I feel like a shell of the person I used to be. I can stare at anything for ages and forget what I am really seeing.

Good news, I did make it in to work on time. So getting up today was not as hard as yesterday.

The things I used to do which made me happy aren’t working so well anymore either. Like car shopping. You think it’d be an exciting purchase, right? Instead I feel scared, anxious, unsure, and do not believe I am making the right decision or I am going too fast. I have mulled for days over the colour, the effin’ colour, and asked for countless opinions. I did not used to be like that; I would just choose the colour already because I knew what I wanted. I shop by colour, it’s what I do.

I will probably make the wrong decision and feel remorse about it later.

Ay dios mio. I am frustrated by the extent of time this is taking to get over it. I just want to be done with it already.