Humpty Dumpty

I woke up this morning and thought "today I am Humpty Dumpty". Oh, that's right. I fell off my wall, broke into

Shit, I just remembered how that ended. "All the Kings' horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty together again". Do you think if it was "All the King's women and all the Kings'..." they could've put him together? Who is putting me together. Me. I have to, even though most days I don't want to bother.

I am perpetually feeling as though my heart is broken. Worse than that. I just can't explain it. This is the feeling I woke up with. Feeling broken and, again, not wanting to face the day or get out of bed. I think I need a break. Maybe next week I'll be sick for a day.

Now I am at work, giving it my all, talking about the car I bought...anything normal. But I still feel it, under this façade.

My cousin got home last night. First thing he said to me was something like "I noticed you haven't shoveled." WHAT THE FUCK?! FUCK YOUUU. I really dislike living with him. My house was so clean when he was gone, without any of his doing of course. He couldn't even wash a dish before he left. I’m sure I'll get back to a dirty house after work tonight.

Besides that, he can't do shit. Couldn't even call a fucking company to estimate some damages. This is what I live with and go home to. Anger, resentment, finality.

Oh Life, some days I loathe you and what you make me deal with.