Face Value

If someone warns you by saying they are not a good person, do you accept it? Sometimes I forewarn people when I think I may hurt them eventually. It is not fun knowing you are capable of doing this but…no excuses. I cannot be good and proper all the time. I cannot always offer others what they want me to, feel what they feel, or expect the same in return.

I took from others when I needed healing. I took your time everything else you had to offer, and only gave you my sorrow in return.

I thank you for being there when I needed you. For helping me get through this and learn to deal with it. At the same time, should you have been caught in my path I sincerely apologize. Should you ever be, please know I’m sorry in advance.

I make mistakes. I’m human. I made more mistakes during the last couple months than is normal for me. There is a lot of cleaning up to do.

Every day I think about FG, it is still constant. I have not felt the heart crushing ache in a couple weeks though. Is that part over?

There is still a list to compile of fears I need to face, work up to, to prove to myself I am over him. Should probably spend time doing that this week.

Back to face value though. Always accept what people say of themselves. Never has someone proven me wrong when listing a negative attribute about themselves.

In retrospect (which is where I spend a lot of time these days), if I had listened to FG when he said he wasn’t a good person and didn’t deserve me I would never have gotten into that mess.